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miss
初青會員



Posts 162

Posted - 16.06.2003 :  17:44:28  Show Profile  Visit %s1%'s Homepagemiss Send miss a Private Message  Reply with Quote
[updated:LAST EDITED ON Jun-16-03 AT 06:05 PM (GMT)]大陸人講廣東話唔正……有邊幾句係你最刻骨銘心既呢?

我聽過人地講:

- 人地結婚去〝動物園〞﹝渡蜜月﹞
- 囉文件要〝贈品〞﹝正本﹞
- 有冇雷電顯示?﹝來電顯示﹞

- 睇一套歷史式話劇,個大陸黎既女演員話:「我唔係一個普通既女人,
我係一個call機」其實佢想話:「我係一個歌"o機"」

我公司有個大陸女人好好笑:-

1)冷係=冷氣
2)必喎=迫我
3)抱子=報紙

石屎路 --- 食屎路

一個內地女人想叫前面D人讓條路佢行,所以佢沿途係咁話:kiss me……kiss me……,但我諗佢想講excuse me……excuse me……

興趣 → 性趣

利智小姐經典的一句:「你地有〝陰毛〞既」 - 佢既意思係〝陰謀〞

A:嘩!你陰莖呀?
B:-_-' ﹝講咩呀?﹞

原來A 係想話:嘩!你咁勁呀?

有次利智小姐發表佢對拍電影0既睇法:「我唔鍾意拍古裝片,因為我唔鍾意比人 diu X....」原來佢係話「唔鍾意比人吊高」

另一次利智小姐好感慨地講0左句:生命,係好短恥0既.....(短暫)

仲有一個係外國留學生可能會聽過,一日ESL Class ﹝english as
second language﹞ 既人上既學英文堂要大家做presentation,每人教一樣佢地culture 0既0野,咁呢個中國學生教整〝雞蛋糕〞。佢鬧出個驚天大笑話:-
佢教到拂蛋個part,唔知拂蛋英文係咩,就諗住用像聲詞,佢話:「you use the fork to……f**k f**k f**k f**k……the eggs like this……
f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k……唔停咁f**k……個老師呆左……d人係咁笑……

先生……我地玩〝失蹤〞骰盅囉……

最怕比佢地問我:-

〝簡典扇〞﹝咁點算﹞

〝忍影支係ben〞﹝影印機係邊﹞

〝死手間係ben〞﹝洗手間係邊﹞


有朋友係電話公司做,佢話好多大陸人黎話要將自己部手提電話〝出
煙〞- trade in

sen生你蝕唔蝕飯? - 先生你食唔食飯

有個女人問路:先生,請問〝侏儒村〞係邊呀?先生旁邊出現十幾個????????? 原來〝侏儒村〞------ G2000

小巴上一內地男子:司機,唔該大爆heigh有落﹝大埔墟呀陰功﹞

話說N年前有朝早我去麥當勞好有禮貌咁同個賣包既女人講:〝唔該豬
柳漢堡丫〞
個女既同我講:〝要蛋呀〞
個時我身上無乜錢,我又唔係太鐘意食豬柳蛋漢堡,于是乎我就好有禮
貌回答:〝唔要蛋喇唔該〞
個女人好勞氣咁講:〝你要蛋喎〞
我開始無乜耐性,我答:〝我唔要蛋喇,我只係要豬柳漢堡咋〞
個女人更加勞氣咁話:〝要蛋一蛋呀,要蛋十分鐘呀……〞

話說某某在豐澤電器欲購電視機,向售貨員詢問:〝請問呢部電視機有
冇電視框呀〞
售貨員莫明奇妙但仍恭恭敬敬地答:〝有〞
〝咁電視框幾多錢呀〞?
〝太太,唔好意思要成架買冇電視框〞某某無奈地離去了。原來電視框
= Discount

係一個巴士站度,眾人都等緊巴士,有個女人問另一人:〝先生唔該,
請問你有冇〝生痔瘡〞呀?

個男人頭都痕埋,原來個女人係想問佢有冇散紙唱!﹝個時八達通仲未
係咁流行﹞

係街邊賣野食d大陸女人成日話:好〝令〞既〝而蛋〞、〝牛演〞、
〝賣而演〞同〝支肉演〞

大家要唔要雀仔按摩……按完仲可以除……

腳低按摩……鎚……

唔得簡樣架 - 咁樣唔得洵?佢當日〝gel〞左頭。佢好開心走去同事堆,然後問:〝你地鐘唔鐘意〝口者〞頭?我就好鐘意。
一班男同事在女同事前大聲串佢:〝嘩!乜你一大早講埋d咁既野?〞
其實佢想問佢地鐘唔鐘意〝gel〞頭。

同學:能﹝粗口音﹞sir!能﹝粗口音﹞sir!
老師:你up咩呀?
個亞sir其實係姓林既!

尋晚去食潮州野,〝ling〞住個menu在想滷水拼盤究竟有乜食,個伙計
就無端端答嘴:〝哩個老鼠拼盤係有老鼠鵝,得老鼠蛋、老鼠腸、老鼠豬耳〞

同事:更日晏晝個乳頭好好味! **魚頭**

我做sales時,向一個女人sale條褲,佢拎起條褲拍埋個身到度,
然後問我:條褲有冇隊架?
我話:隊?
女人:條褲有冇隊架?﹝我真係r晒頭,心諗佢想隊乜?﹞
然後個女人自己摸下條褲……噢!冇隊架!
到佢行開左,我先諗到原來佢想問:條褲有冇袋!

我阿哥係入境處辦事處到做,成日聽到d大陸人講,身份證叫〝新款
證〞,出生證叫〝畜牲證〞……

Dickson
隊長級會員

Hong Kong



Posts 10479

Posted - 16.06.2003 :  21:20:22  Show Profile  Visit %s1%'s HomepageDickson  Send %s1% an ICQ MessageDickson Send Dickson a Private Message  Reply with Quote
唔好笑佢地啦!WaKaKaKaKa...............!!!
其實我地講普通話同佢地比,咪又係差唔多o者!
但係人地唔會笑,而且仲不厭其煩咁糾正我地,
我地又何必咁呢?(鬼佬講廣東話咪又係咁上下!)
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Scott Y
中校級會員

Hong Kong



Posts 1626

Posted - 16.06.2003 :  21:44:29  Show Profile Send Scott Y a Private Message  Reply with Quote
真人真事...

以前間公司有位上海婆。

我地公司o個陣有隻滑板車,質量麻麻地。

佢講o左句我呢世都記得o既說話:"個#,$ @ 一下就得架喇"
然後因為佢好想強調呢點,仲repeat左好多次添

老闆唔知佢講乜,但係全公司就趴晒嚮檯到笑到噴鼻水。

其實佢係話,個輪(即係"碌"),調較一下就得架喇
# $ @ 係乜就自己諗啦。


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Handy
中校級會員



Posts 1310

Posted - 16.06.2003 :  22:02:41  Show Profile Send Handy a Private Message  Reply with Quote
的神...我想講嘅全部俾你講哂.....!

不過我最想講嘅反而係:香港人自己都講唔正就好羞啦.譬如:
我約咗個貧友喺趕敦道香趕酒店度躉(等)!!! 死未?

p.s. Miss有少少三級發言嘅字哦....小心Arsir又嚟捉人...!!
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tang
初哥級

Posts 23

Posted - 17.06.2003 :  01:10:35  Show Profile  Visit %s1%'s Homepagetang Send tang a Private Message  Reply with Quote
I see chinese speak english with this stupid accent all the time (myself included)

but i rarely see a westerner laugh at them.





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simonlai
中校級會員

Hong Kong



Posts 1436

Posted - 17.06.2003 :  01:18:01  Show Profile  Visit %s1%'s Homepagesimonlai  Send %s1% an ICQ Messagesimonlai  Click to see %s1%'s MSN Messenger addresssimonlai Send simonlai a Private Message  Reply with Quote
hahaaa ..
慘!
『平機會』又有o野做啦 ~~!
真係接 .com o既投訢有如『滔滔江水連綿不絕』;
對 .com o既指控有如『黃河氾濫一發不可收拾』呀 ~~!
呵呵呵 ~~~!


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Dickson
隊長級會員

Hong Kong



Posts 10479

Posted - 17.06.2003 :  01:47:13  Show Profile  Visit %s1%'s HomepageDickson  Send %s1% an ICQ MessageDickson Send Dickson a Private Message  Reply with Quote
係喎!講開又講,乜解上次果單o野仲未有下文o既?
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simonlai
中校級會員

Hong Kong



Posts 1436

Posted - 17.06.2003 :  01:56:35  Show Profile  Visit %s1%'s Homepagesimonlai  Send %s1% an ICQ Messagesimonlai  Click to see %s1%'s MSN Messenger addresssimonlai Send simonlai a Private Message  Reply with Quote
人地肯受理先至得架 ~~
而家納稅人D錢咬開都有血有汗架 ..
唔好浪費晒響俾D無謂人果度先至得架 ...
人地痴o者 .. 唔好都當『平機會』傻先得架 ..
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Scott Y
中校級會員

Hong Kong



Posts 1626

Posted - 17.06.2003 :  09:19:11  Show Profile Send Scott Y a Private Message  Reply with Quote
我都係上海人,我講上海話就真係笑到我o的親戚碌晒地喇。

係好笑就笑,好自然。我地平時唔笑架,但係佢間唔中會有一兩句"特別"小小o既。話番俾佢聽,一齊笑 :)


I don't mean to start anything (and I don't want to), but just because you rarely see a westerner laugh at accented English doesn't mean they don't. Do a search with "chinese accent jokes" on Yahoo and you'll find plenty.

A joke is a joke, but when you take it too seriously, it becomes something else. Take it easy. :88>

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Dickson
隊長級會員

Hong Kong



Posts 10479

Posted - 17.06.2003 :  11:38:38  Show Profile  Visit %s1%'s HomepageDickson  Send %s1% an ICQ MessageDickson Send Dickson a Private Message  Reply with Quote
hahaha.....我都當係笑話睇咋!不過有感而發o者,唔好介意!
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miss
初青會員



Posts 162

Posted - 17.06.2003 :  18:29:30  Show Profile  Visit %s1%'s Homepagemiss Send miss a Private Message  Reply with Quote
咪係!

我細個學英文成日比老師當眾大聲恥笑0架,結果我咪痛定思痛,學好佢囉!
我又覺得要學就要學到好,所以我自己都好注重英文0既發音同 accents,我講錯又唔怕比人笑呀,至少有人笑我先知自己講錯,唔係點學呀!yo! 洗乜驚呀?你今日笑我,難保他日我講得比你好!唔係咩呀!

做人最緊要係乜呀?開心丫0麻!我覺得真係好笑喎!哈哈哈! http://snooker.com.hk/dcforum/Images/lol.gif

好話唔好聽,香港人講0既 "Mag 屎" "拉記" "Fan 屎" "sue 牙" 真係嚇人0架,乜語言0黎0架?我晌大學讀語言學0既時候,先知道原來香港人呢種港式英文已經成為一門研究科目,死未?@_@

我都無惡意,只係想話,我真係覺得好笑0者!(唔好意思0下,如果要郁到去"平機會"就當係我細路女唔識世界囉!) http://snooker.com.hk/dcforum/Images/crying.gif

至於外國人笑唔笑我0地,我又即刻諗到兩個例子:一個係曾經收過一封英文 email,講一個中個藉酒店 room service 接線生同鬼佬0既對話,我諗好多人都睇過(所以唔貼出0黎0刺),講到尾咪又係笑我0地!﹝不過抵笑格!鬼叫你講得唔正呀﹞;第二個例子就係我0既親身經驗,我曾經將一段網上流傳0既意大利人講英文0既 sound file 播比一個有意大利血統0既美國人聽,佢直情笑到出眼淚,仲叫我 forward 比佢,等佢 send 比佢0既意大利同美國朋友。

正所謂,「人生咁短"賤"」,笑0下都好0麻! http://snooker.com.hk/dcforum/Images/crazy3.gif
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miss
初青會員



Posts 162

Posted - 17.06.2003 :  18:33:04  Show Profile  Visit %s1%'s Homepagemiss Send miss a Private Message  Reply with Quote
其實我覺得「將部手提電話"出煙"」真係勁好笑!
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